Day 136 of Thanksgiving...

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Today I am so very Thankful for Sailing!  As per usual this is going to sound silly but I have never actually been sailing and I don't really have any desire to.  To be truthful, I technically can't even swim.  But....for most of my adult life I have been so drawn in by sail boats, pictures of sailing, and watching them while at the beach or lake.  It has just come clear to me lately why I feel this impulse - it's not the sailing that intrigues me but the idea of Sailing through life.  To me the idea of sailing - floating on water powered by a breeze is akin to times in life when we are leaning into the wind and enjoying the ride.  It's about not fighting or struggling to live and realizing that we are empowered to make the journey easier - we can make the decision to sail a good bit of the time so that we are rested and ready for times when we must paddle and work hard to keep our boats afloat.  The hardest part is realizing that you can only enjoy Sailing when you give in and relax and don't fight the wind.

Day 135 of Thanksgiving...

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Today I am so very Thankful for Pollyanna!  Taken from the name of the child heroine created by Eleanor Porter (1868–1920), American writer or World English Dictionary states that Pollyanna is a person who is constantly or excessively optimistic.   Full disclosure, I read about Pollyanna in my Guidepost reading today and it brought to mind how many times over the years that I have been accused of being Pollyannaish - with good reason.  I am learning that this is not necessarily a bad thing.  Now I can be just as negative on the other end of the scale as well but the extreme positivity has angered more friends and family in the long run.  I was mulling this over and realized that we all want to be positive and exuberant at times but due to circumstances it is not always within us all the time.  This is especially true during hard or painful times.  As a child I would wear my Pollyanna hat to keep peace and harmony in our little household - sometimes it worked, others not so much.  For years I tamped down the instinct to be optimistic and joyful because it seemed to make others uncomfortable.  Now I realize that it is not the joy and optimism that causes such a reaction but the feeling it may give off to others that they are doing something wrong in not being as joyful at that moment.  As I get older, I have come to the realization that I just have to be me and do my best to see the joy and goodness around me and appreciate it.  Everyone may not get it and I may aggravate some, but that's okay too.

Day 134 of Thanksgiving...

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Today I am so very Thankful for Mirrors!  I know this sounds petty and silly but bear with me.  Today I went out with hubby to dinner with two of the kids.  On our way to the restaurant we stopped off at a Stein~Mart so that I could pick up a sweater as I was wearing a sleeveless dress and I thought I might get chilly.  The dress I was wearing was a simple one that I found in perfect condition at Good Will for six bucks - so exciting.  I had a little blush of color, which I rarely have, thanks to our day at the beach yesterday.  Yep - I was feeling pretty good about myself as I perused the racks and quickly found the perfect lightweight sweater which happened to be 30% off - Score!  As I made my way around the store checking out a few purses and in search of a more comfortable pair of inexpensive shoes, I caught sight of a heavy set older woman out of the corner of my eye.  Argh - I thought, I am so glad that I am losing weight and feeling better about myself and I am looking good.  As I kept moving I noticed that she was coming toward me - what??  Is she smiling at me......to my shock and disdain, the woman was ME!!!  There was a full length mirror propped up against a dress rack and I was looking dead straight into my startled face - old, heavy set and not looking at all like I had imagined!!  Now you may say this is depressing but I chose to see this as a reality check and sort of what my Momma would call a comeuppance!  I was getting way ahead of myself thinking that just because I have lost a few pounds, and I am talking single digits here, that I was so special and better than some frump that was actually me.  Lesson learned - we are all working through stages and at different places in life - no judgements and no put downs!!  We are what we are and we have to love ourselves honestly as well as others.  Oh and maybe I do need to get some bifocals soon!!

Day 133 of Thanksgiving...

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Today I am so very Thankful for White Hair!  At 55, white hair was surely not one of my dreams or desires - it definitely ages me and no matter how many times I am told I can pull it off - it is still not what most anyone would chose.  But - I do chose hair and I am glad I have hair - as a female being without hair is tough and I surely don't have one of those faces that could pull off that look - trust me!  So I stopped the coloring process a little over four years ago and it was tough.  I plucked my first greys at 16 and it only increased from there.  I started covering it with color at 25!  How exhausting and frustrating because I have that lovely kind of white that is very resistant to the color and it was always peeping out and saying Nana-BooBoo at me in the mirror or any picture.  But I still continued the dance and the futile process of trying to pretend that it wasn't so.  But when it started to thin and I could see the pink scalp peeping out instead of white and grey hair, I decided it was time to call a truce.  Now I am not going to tell you that I am in love with this compromise and at least daily I think um maybe I should try color again.....but good sense prevails and I chose hair.  All of this sounds so trivial and not so noteworthy but I believe it is part of the process of Becoming - as in the Velveteen Rabbit - the years and the love of life show in my face and my hair and I have given in to the worn look of becoming - I did not go quietly but go I did.  At times I tell myself that the white glistens in the right light somewhat like the golden locks I used to dream of - if you squint a little.  Another plus is I get senior discounts without even having to pull out my driver's license - how cool is that??  On a side note - hubby has beautiful white hair and he still looks young and handsome - distinguished - how fair is that??

Day 132 of Thanksgiving.....

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Today I am so very Thankful for Vacations!  Hubby is on vacation this coming week and for us that means doing stuff around the house and maybe a day trip along with a dinner out.  This has become the norm for us as week long vacations away from home are now more of a luxury than the routine they used to be.  We have had one of those in the past 10 years and it was wonderful but not in the picture right now.  However - we embrace the notion of Vacation anyway - we eat a little later, stay up a little longer, linger outside more and think V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N thoughts.  Take naps with abandon and watch movies most every night.  These are not things that hubby can do when he is working - he works very hard so when he is off we all get in the notion of relaxation!  Cooking fun dishes and enjoying them - you just knew food had to figure in here - maybe having a dessert.  Yum!!  The goal for me is always to do some things that will make life a little easier and pleasurable after he returns to work such as cleaning out a closet, organizing some drawers, etc.  Stuff dreams are may of - not.....but for me pleasurable just the same.  We will frequently say during the week - don't worry about that cause after all we are on VACATION!!!!  ;o)......we're gonna have some fun!

Day 131 of Thanksgiving...

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Today I am so very Thankful for Enlightenment! I see this word as en-light-enment because the focus is on turning on the light or seeing something clearly for the first time.  Hubby asked me to was this movie with him - The Human Experience and I have to admit I was a bit hesitant.  Sometimes I just don't have the fortitude to see some documentaries that are so very painful and sad and they stay with me for far too long.  The intended purpose I suppose.  I have to admit this one was very different and I would recommend it to everyone!  It is profound and will make you think in a different way about many things.  This docu-drama follows three young men, two of which are brothers and their path as they learn to cope with their past and they grow to see the world differently.  Their joy as well as the joy of those around them during their journey is palpable and inspiring.  If you have ever had an instinct to volunteer or reach out to others less fortunate, you will do so in a different manner after watching this film!  Very Very ENLIGHTENING!!!


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1252298/

Day 130 of Thanksgiving.....

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Today I am so very Thankful for the Freedom to say NO!  I don't like saying No - even to myself but I am learning that it can be very freeing and rewarding.  If you know much about me then you know that I love to eat and it shows.  For the past 4 weeks I have been working hard to eat better - to change my way of eating.  This is not only because I need to lose weight for health reasons but also because I feel better when I eat better.  This past weekend the boys brought home a dozen Krispy Kreme Donuts and normally I would not be able to stop myself from sampling them.  This time I was able to say NO to myself and move on to something else.  It is hard living in a house full of men who have four fold the metabolism that I have and not over eat but I am finding that in learning to say NO to some things, then I can say Yes to other things.  Feeling better, in more control, and a little lighter are some of the benefits.  It's not so bad to learn to Just Say No!!